It's 5:30pm on Wednesday evening and I am cleaning up my desk, getting ready to head home and find myself reflecting on what He's been teaching me these past six weeks since I last posted. The phrase that comes to mind is what I have heard ever since I started going to Grace Community Church..."It's all about grace." The past several weeks have been just a taste of what I am certain is going to be a year where I lean on that grace more than ever. This requires some explanation...but first...
I have a confession to make...My name is Molly and I am a perfectionist. As a perfectionistic first year teacher, I put myself in danger of heading down a path of destruction. In holding unrealistic expectations of myself, I set myself up for failure. Not only that, but I also get in the way of Him touching those nine precious hearts He's placed me in charge of. When I worry and stress about having perfect lesson plans, a flawless literacy program, no behavior problems and a classroom that looks like it was pulled off the Mary Engelbreit website my eyes are clouded and I miss my purpose, but worse than that, I miss out on His grace.
Every morning I have the blessing of coming into work when the sun is just peeking out from over the mountains that surround our campus, reminding me that His mercies are new every morning. No matter how painful, stressful, tiring the day before was, He still grants me just enough strength to get through the next one. The minute I step foot into my classroom I've got to be intentional about laying down those unreachable expectations and remind myself of the lyrics to one of my favorite songs:
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
All that I cling to
I lay at your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me
I am starting to find out what people meant when they said that nothing in my teaching career would be as difficult as my first year of teaching. Although I continue to experience days where I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, I have a to-do list that never seems to end, and stress seems to be a constant companion of mine, I can't imagine being anywhere else. I was asked last week "So, are you just loving teaching?!" A twinge of guilt came with my honest answer of "Loving? I am not sure if that is the word I would use." It is kind of like asking a kid who's bruised and skinned up, "Do you just love riding that bike?!" when they haven't been able to ride more than a couple feet without falling. I am still working on getting the hang of the teaching thing, I am not a huge fan of the falling part. I do love getting to know my kids, I love working in the school community and I love the journey that our Heavenly Father has me on right now. As I get used to the days where I have no idea what I am doing, the long to-do lists and the stress, I am also starting to get used to tapping into His grace, laying those perfectionistic tendencies at His feet every morning and glorifying Him as I live out my purpose here on the other side of the globe.
Psalm 127:1-2 (Msg)
If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn't guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
Allow Him to give you times of rest today as you live for Him. Tap into that grace:)
Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
All that I cling to
I lay at your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me
I am starting to find out what people meant when they said that nothing in my teaching career would be as difficult as my first year of teaching. Although I continue to experience days where I feel like I have no idea what I am doing, I have a to-do list that never seems to end, and stress seems to be a constant companion of mine, I can't imagine being anywhere else. I was asked last week "So, are you just loving teaching?!" A twinge of guilt came with my honest answer of "Loving? I am not sure if that is the word I would use." It is kind of like asking a kid who's bruised and skinned up, "Do you just love riding that bike?!" when they haven't been able to ride more than a couple feet without falling. I am still working on getting the hang of the teaching thing, I am not a huge fan of the falling part. I do love getting to know my kids, I love working in the school community and I love the journey that our Heavenly Father has me on right now. As I get used to the days where I have no idea what I am doing, the long to-do lists and the stress, I am also starting to get used to tapping into His grace, laying those perfectionistic tendencies at His feet every morning and glorifying Him as I live out my purpose here on the other side of the globe.
Psalm 127:1-2 (Msg)
If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn't guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
Allow Him to give you times of rest today as you live for Him. Tap into that grace:)
