A Plethora of Pictures!

I have finally uploaded all my photos from the last year onto my online Picassa Website. Please check them out when you get a chance. There are a lot so you may need to do it in phases:)

http://picasaweb.google.com/mvioletpics

Bracing for the Waves

There’s a scene in Castaway after Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) has lived on the island for four years, when he finally figures out a plan to get himself home. He has built this raft, he’s checked the direction of the wind, and he’s got a plan to tackle that huge wave that was an obstacle on one of his first attempts off the island. He and Wilson are all packed and ready to go. They venture out, rowing furiously as the waves fight hard to keep them from being successful. When he cuts the rope letting his sail come up he is able to get past that last hard wave. He is now in the clear, past the obstacle that kept him from leaving before and free to venture home away from this island he’s been stuck on for four years. He is full of excitement as he rejoices in his success, but excitement suddenly turns bittersweet as he stares back sentimentally. The music strategically slows as he realizes that the place where he felt trapped had really become his home, a place that molded and shaped him into the person he had become. As we watched this clip at PFO this week, I could feel his exact pain as he stared back at that place with a twinge of anguish and heartbreak. I am currently in that place where I can’t wait to leave, but I know I am having to say goodbye to a piece of my heart. That clip was the start of reflection on where I have been this last year, where I am right now, and where I am going this year.

It was about this time last year that I was getting ready to go student teach at Bandung Alliance International School. A year before that, I couldn’t even locate Indonesia on a map, let alone dream that I would ever live there. Shortly before leaving I met with my cooperating teacher who had just been to PFO. In our hour long coffee date she gave me a crash course in transition that basically told me I was going to experience some form of psychosis around October or November; so you can imagine that there was a little bit of anxiety packed in that suitcase along with my lack of expectations. I initially left for Indonesia planning to be there for just the semester. It was very outside my comfort zone, and most days I wondered what in the world I was doing on the other side of the globe. I was in the honeymoon stage of culture stress pretty much the entire semester, posting everything we did on my blog and seeking other new awesome experiences to share with people back home. In October, when that psychosis was supposed to kick in, something else happened. God and I had been talking a lot about working overseas, and my future in it. Throughout that honeymoon stage, He was revealing to me a version of myself that had been hidden deep inside while I was in my comfort zone back in the states. I was starting to come out of my shell with strengths and gifts I never knew I had. He made it clear that he wasn’t finished with me in Bandung. At that point I began talking to the school to see where they could use me that next semester, which throughout the spring semester became teaching high school and middle school ESL, helping with the spring drama, subbing when needed, and teaching PE during the last quarter. Needless to say, it was a very stretching semester for a rather extreme “J.” In fact, I think if I were to take the Myers-Briggs again, my score would be a lot different based on my experience in learning to “write with my left hand” this semester. On top of that I was finally experiencing transition and culture stress as I was trying to get used to this place that I could officially call my home. Where I was this last semester was a place similar to the scene where Chuck Noland battles the waves in the small yellow raft. A lack of knowledge about culture stress, third culture kids and being a single overseas made some of those waves a little difficult to overcome, but I am very thankful for the way He worked things out in His timing. If it weren’t for that, I would not be where I am right now.

It has been incredible to be at PFO after spending a year in Indonesia already. During the TCK talk, I had pictures of my students and various experiences I had last year running through my head. I have also been able to share some of my experiences this year and offer advice to my small group members. The part that hit me the hardest was the Transition talk about RAFT and saying goodbye well to those back home. When I left for Indonesia the first time, I was more than ready to leave the familiar, leave the drama, and step outside my comfort zone. With an anxiousness to leave, I fear I may have neglected some pretty important conversations of closure. I am so thankful that I kind of get a second chance at saying goodbye and really affirming the people back in Flagstaff that have become an even stronger support system for me in my absence. It was during that clip from Castaway that I described earlier, that I first realized how difficult it is going to be to leave Flagstaff this time. It took me leaving to fully recognize the impact it has had on my life. This time, I will look back with full appreciation of the way it has molded and shaped me into the person I am and since my return to the states, has encouraged and supported the person Indonesia has helped me become.

I am returning to Bandung Alliance International School this fall as a fourth grade teacher and I can’t wait to see what God’s got in store. This year will be full of firsts for all of us at BAIS with the new campus location, new housing for the teachers, and learning how to function in the unfamiliar. I will also be living with three other single girls, which will be fun, but is sure to have its share of challenges. In my relationships with those I work with, I hope to be more concious of personality differences, and more aware of how I work best with others. Although I had a great time last semester wearing many hats and learning how to be more flexible and spontaneous, I am looking forward to something with a little more familiarity. This year holds struggles of its own, but I am confident that BAIS is where I am supposed to be. Everyday I am humbled and stand in awe at the fact that the Creator of the universe has chosen to make me a part of the NICS story that is having such a great impact on young lives all over the world. I know that being a first year teacher will be difficult, but I feel well equipped and know that it is through my weaknesses that He is made stronger.

In his first attempt off the island, Chuck Noland was equipped with hardly anything but a small pathetic raft, a little bit of hope the goal to just survive. When those waves came, not only could his raft not hold up, but his hope was dashed. I survived my first year in Indonesia, but there were times when I definitely felt like Chuck, trying to battle the waves of culture stress and obstacles at school with hardly anything. Fortunately for me, I had my Heavenly Father, and I was able to get through this year of refining and came out stronger. My time at PFO has helped with those final preparations to get me off the island successfully. By the time I head back to Indonesia, I will have built my strong “RAFT,” and packed my bags with a little extra confidence and hope. I don’t want to merely survive the next two years, I want to thrive. I want to connect with my Third Culture Kids. I want to be a teacher of excellence, and I want to learn how to love the culture of Indonesia even more. The waves will still be tough, but I will get through them by leaning on the support of the “Wilsons” in my life, as well as my ultimate source of hope and confidence, my Heavenly Father.

So many firsts...

If I were to name a theme of this semester, I would have to call it "Season of Unexpected Firsts." Here are some from the past quarter, a collection of blog posts that I meant to make if you will:

• PE Teacher- Since I got back from the spring break, I have been teaching upper elementary and high school PE . I know, right? Molly Evans teaching PE?! I laughed when I found out too, so feel free to chuckle at the irony. It has definitely been a stretching (pardon the pun) experience, but I have really enjoyed getting to work with so many different classes.

• Drama Assistant- I was in charge of the stage crew people. For the first time ever I painted backdrops and helped design tickets and programs. I worked with a great group of students who worked really hard. The drama was a couple weeks ago, and it was so cool to have had the opportunity to be a part of something like that.
  

• Volleyball Coach- I had the most awesome experience coaching the girls volleyball team throughout the months of April and May. Ever since middle school, there has been a special place in my heart for the sport of volleyball, so it was such a blessing to get to coach for the first time. I co-coached with the fourth grade teacher. We had nine girls on the team, and although it was more of a learning season, I was so proud of their improvement from the beginning to the end. It was so much fun to get to share my knowledge of the game with them. It was also interesting to realize that I have been blessed with some of my father's competitive tendencies, thanks dad:) Our last game of the season was against some of the female teachers. The other coach and I played with our girls and put up a good fight, but lost three games to zero in the end. I had so much fun, and I hope to coach again next year.

• Housing Contract- Jennie, Emily, Emma and I finally got a house about a month ago, and because I will be here for the next two years, I got to sign the contract. It is a nice house in a nice development about a three minute drive from the school. We have a nice big living/dining room, five bedrooms and three bathrooms. It has been quite a challenge trying to negotiate all the little details that our Indonesian landlord doesn't always understand, but it has been really neat to see the Lord provide housing, not just for us, but for all the teachers one by one. It will be a challenge next year, learning how to live without the luxuries of Starbucks and the grocery store being right down the street, but it will be nice to have a good support system at home.

• Neighborhood Goodbye Party- Our school is moving at the end of July out of a community where we've been for over fifty years. We invited the Indonesian people that have worked at our school, as well as the helpers of the teachers at BAIS. It was a traditional goodbye party with music, stories, and Indonesian food. I haven't been here very long, but it was still cool to hear the stories of the legacy this place will have left.
  

• Pampered Weekend- We took a weekend trip to Jakarta at the beginning of the month. We took the train and stayed at a nice hotel near the good shopping and dining. One of the days we spent at the amusement park, that turned out to be everything an Indonesian amusement park should be:) One of the highlights was a new ride called Extreme Log. It was one of those simulation rides kind of like Soarin' Over California at California Adventure. Rather than para-gliding through the Sunshine State, you are a tree on the painful adventure of becoming a log. Nope, I'm not kidding. It definitely places as one of theweirdest things I have experienced here in Indonesia. We all came out a little confused, but got a good laugh out of it:) That night we went to see Iron Man at a luxury movie theater. This place was amazing! We each got our own personal leather recliner with a blanket and had dinner brought to us. That is definitely the way to see a movie, totally worth the $12!

• My own classroom- On each of our trips out to our new house, we always make sure we stop by the new campus to see the progress made. They are currently working on the main building where everything will be until we get enough money to build a separate auditorium, gymnasium and office building. It is going to be really nice when they finish it. Every time we go, I have to take a couple minutes to stand in my classroom and try to picture what next year is going to look like. I don't think it has quite sunk in that I will have my own classroom next year, but I look forward to the memories that will be made in there.
  

• Learning to say goodbye- When you live in a transient community such as this one, you have to not only learn how to say goodbye, but you've got to learn how to do it unexpectedly. There is no room to procrastinate when it comes to spending time with people, because you never know when they might be called somewhere else outside of Indonesia. As the year comes to a close, I am faced with the question of how to say goodbye to some co-workers who have become my family , and some students that have captured my heart over the past year. I'm not sure if there is a perfect answer to that question, but I do know that I can trust my Heavenly Father to help maintain those deep relationships despite the distance. While a little heartbroken, I am excited to see how He continues to work in and through them.

As you can see, this semester has been full of life changing experiences with a lot of learning, laughter, some stress, some tears, but above everything, full of His grace and provision. Along with these "firsts," I have learned what it means to be refined through the fire. Each of these experiences has held a special role in chipping away at a version of myself that was more prone to wander, wallow and worry. I am able to look at next year with new eyes that can face the fears of the unknown knowing I don't have the strength, but with utter certainty that He does.
I leave a week from tomorrow to head back to Flagstaff for the summer. I am excited to come home for a little break from the world of teaching and to get charged up for next year. My plans include lots of time to spend with you, catching up and sharing stories and pictures from this semester.

Here's a more detailed itinerary:
June 3rd- Arrive in Flagstaff
June 6th- Abby graduates
June 7th- 9th- Road trip with Abby to her camp in New Mexico
June 10-22- Hanging out in Flagstaff
June 23-July4th- Pre-Field Orientation in South Haven, Mississippi
July 4th-July10th- Visiting friend in North Carolina
July 10th-July 28th- Hanging out in Flagstaff
July 29th- Head back to Indonesia

You know you're a terrible blogger when...

Your co-workers start asking if you have retired your blog.

A post is in the works I promise:)

Power Outside the Comfort Zone

With pockets full of stories, ready and anxious to share some truth with the people on the islands, 18 students and six adults got on a boat headed to that powerful place outside the comfort zone. During the preliminary meetings at Base Camp the first day, I realized I had stuck some insecurity and fear in my pockets along with my stories of hope. I didn’t have any confidence in the stories I had to tell, I feared that my lack of language would hinder me from making connections, and I was sure that I was going to fall short as a leader. Fortunately, our Father has His ways of drawing us back to Him. The morning we would depart for the first island, I sat on the edge of paradise with my cup of coffee and the Word. Amidst the voices in my head telling me I wouldn’t make it, I could hear His voice of truth telling me that He is bigger than my fear, bigger than my insecurities and ultimately the blessed controller of all things. Later that afternoon, as we got on the boat, I had a choice to make: I could let those fears be the largest and heaviest items in my backpack, or I could hand it off to our most reliable travel companion and trade it for some courage…
The courage and strength He gives is the kind that kicks in when you least expect it. I had not only survived that first island, but I came away with tremendous confidence. Not confidence in myself, but confidence in His power, and His ability to make His strength perfect in my weakness. This was made obvious once again in a touching moment the last evening at our host family’s house on the second island. Ibu Ilis had a seven year old daughter with a walking disability. From the moment I met Anna, there was a sparkle in her eye that I recognized, tremendous strength she had despite her handicap. The girls in our house had asked our Ibu to tell us the story of her daughter, how this disability came about. After the big farewell party, and after I had had about as much people time as physically possible for an extreme introvert like myself, we realized that we still hadn’t heard the story of her daughter. We decided we had better stay up and talk one last time. Through the story we learned that Anna had had Polio when she was a baby and the handicap was a result of the extreme fever. Despite going to many doctors and former Sea Tribe teams praying for Anna, there was no way to repair the damage done by the illness. I could see the despair in the family’s face, thinking there was no hope, and she would have to live with this permanent imperfection. It was in that moment I remembered why I recognized that sparkle in Anna’s eye. Her strength reminded me of my sister Emily. “Hey, I got a story.” I told them about how when this 6’2” soccer player was a senior in high school, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a disease that attacks your nervous system. I told them how it was really hard for my family, but that we prayed for strength to cope. Through the tears, I explained that there is no cure for MS, and someday Emily may not be able to walk at all, but despite the difficulty she chooses to glorify God in her illness. She is always looking for opportunities to share God’s love and her testimony of how he is still using her. Finally, I said, “I told you this story because your daughter Anna reminds me of Emily. I am so impressed by her strength.” In that moment when I thought I had nothing left, God was able to use the story of my sister to connect the hearts of strangers-- a true testament to the power that lies outside the comfort zone.

I've got more where this one came from. As time permits, I will try to post more stories. Thank you all for your prayers for me during this life changing adventure. I can't wait to share pictures and video footage with you when I get home.

To the Islands...

Spring break is coming up, which means the Sea Tribe trip is nearly here. This week a group of 24 people (six leaders and 18 students) will be leaving for Batam, an island Northwest of Bandung close to Singapore, to work with the Sea Tribe Islands for ten days. We are going to go to two different islands to interact with people who may have never met Westerners before and probably have never heard the gospel. We will be doing a work project at each island, teaching the kids English, and sharing Christ's love through conversation and stories. To say this trip will be life changing is a bit of an understatement. This experience is going to stretch me in all areas. With the anxiety about the challenges we will be facing, I am excited to see God work through our weaknesses and surprise us with what we are capable of.

Here is the itinerary and some prayer needs we have as a group:

19th – Leave Bandung at 5.20 pm and arrive in Batam
20th – Leave by boat for base camp (appx. 2 hour ride); briefing and prep for island stays
21st - 24th – Island stay #1
24th – Morning return to Base Camp; refresh, debrief, rest
25th - 28th - Island stay #2
28th – Morning return to base camp for debrief, resting, playing
29th – Leave Base camp for Batam… leave Batam at 7.25 pm to return to Bandung

Prayer Needs...
- Strength and energy as we enter into this trip, it has been pretty busy and stressful the past couple weeks, and we would hate to be exhausted when we get there.

- Physical safety (travel, food poisoning, injuries)

- For courage and boldness in our interactions with the people

- Open hearts for us and for the people we will meet

- That the language barrier would not be an obstacle, that those of us who do not speak Indonesian would have extra patience in dealing with translators

- Team unity- we are a very large group which can make this difficult

- For spirits of humility and service--that we would focus on putting on the attitude of Christ

- That we would have a clear picture of what our role is on the team and be content to serve joyfully in that

This is going to be amazing, I am fortunate to get to join in this experience. Thank you for your prayers through this. I look forward to updating you when we get home.

Wearing Many Hats

In high school I had quite the array of after school and summer jobs to help keep my bank account out of the red. For four years, I worked as a "Tax Preparation Assistant" at spending my after school hours in front of a copy machine hoping and praying that the Lord wouldn't call me to be an accountant (no offense mom:) One summer I was a server in the dining room of an assisted living home. Again, I enjoyed getting to know the residents and hearing their stories, but was pretty certain that God hadn't blessed me with the patience to serve the elderly. Another summer, I was a landscaping assistant at a hotel got in touch with my inner handyman. I remember reminding myself when the copy machine had jammed for the four hundredth time, or when I had to hold my tongue after a resident complained about their food again, that these jobs were only temporary and that one day I would be doing something that I love.

Now that I am on the other side of college just starting out my first real job, I find myself reflecting on where I thought I would be back when I was grumbling in minimum wage jobs. I never expected God to bring me here to do some of the things I am doing now, in fact I always thought I was never cut out to work overseas. Nothing compares to looking back on years past and seeing the hand of God guiding every step and being reminded that it isn’t about me, but that it is all about Him.

The past month or so has been very busy. The majority of my time has been spent at school either planning for my ESL classes, planning for projects like tree planting for Week Without Walls or the all-school work day, subbing in all kinds of classes from PE to computers, or working in the bookroom with Jennie. I have been so blessed to have worn quite the number of hats here at BAIS lately. I have been learning a lot about myself from hidden gifts to limits that seem to pop up in stressful times. I am being stretched and molded in ways I never have before. Through the challenge of these experiences God is drawing me closer to Himself reminding me that “I Need Thee Every Hour.”

After years of knowing I would never be working in an accounting office or an assisted living home or landscaping at a hotel, today I can say that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Not anywhere close to where I thought I would be, but smack dab in the middle of my Father’s will.